My Thoughts on Marital Life by Mutohhir Abdulhamid Olanrewaju

In my opinion, marital life—whether before, during, or after marriage—is a reflection of the kind of heart you have and how deeply you connect with Allah. Beyond that, it also depends on whether you pass through life’s proper stages, or “right of passage,” which is compulsory for all of mankind, whether we like it or not. By “right of passage,” I mean the stages in life that everyone must go through. It is important to seek guidance from those who have knowledge and experience in these stages if one wishes to live a meaningful life.

I have learned much from my colleagues, mentors, parents, lecturers, and scholars. I have heard and seen many lessons about marital life. Although I am yet to marry, I have gained valuable insights from these sources. A smooth marital life requires pure intentions, understanding, and comprehensive knowledge. Happiness in marriage comes when both spouses are aligned in purpose and understanding. Conversely, marital life becomes difficult when there is no mutual understanding and when both partners are not well-prepared.

As brothers and sisters, I encourage you to seek counseling and guidance wherever possible before entering into marriage. Life is a journey, and those who came before us have learned from their experiences, even if their ways of living differed from ours.

Remember: failing to plan is planning to fail. I used to smile when couples received certificates on their Nikkah day, as if earning a degree immediately upon admission to university. This shows the importance of preparation and understanding before marriage.

To my beloved brothers and sisters, I strongly advise seeking mentorship and praying to Allah for guidance in all your endeavors. Divorce, though permissible, is bitter when it happens. If a couple divorces after Nikkah, it often indicates that something was wrong from the beginning.

Take time to read, reflect, and digest these thoughts. May Allah guide us all in our journey.

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.