The Me In Myself by Fatimah Adeleke


Sometimes I wonder
What exactly is the being living within myself
Who is this me 
That causes myself to regret 
What makes me myself
That I always have to question 
Why do I have to be different 
Differences filled with flaws 
Tagged as a wierdo
 A pity, I don't have control over it
It seems to act on its own
Leaving myself aftermathly stunned
Leaving myself too embarrased
To even realize what my existence has done
Most times I wish
 I could change that me in myself 
So that I could be my perfect imaginary self
So that I don't have to question my action
So that I don't have to replay the "I should have" in my head
I thought, how wonderful would that be
That I don't have to replay cringing episode 
Then again I thought 
If I were to change me
Would I still be myself 
Would I still be a complete existence
Would I still leave my mark on the world
No!! I would be someone else 
I won't have all I have now
I won't meet all the blessed people in my life 
I won't have all those embarrassingly happy moment
If all because of my flaws I want to change 
Which means I will loose everything 
I'd rather have my flaws and retain all wonderful memories 
That makes me who I am
That brings smile to my face
And ease my soul
I neva want to change 
Because, all of me is my flaws and memory

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